on Valentine's Day

I have not been blogging much.  You, the reader, have probably not noticed this, mostly because you, the reader, do not exist.  But I have been doing other things, like working (surprisingly time-consuming) and running and going to the theater and attempting to maintain a social life (also surprisingly time-consuming).  Also I went to Cancun for a few days (highlight: we rented a waverunner and I got to drive it!  This is because my gentleman caller did not believe that they would let me, so he conceded the point without a fight... he didn't try to take it back when they actually let me take control of what is basically a motorcycle with a rudder, though, and he rode on the back with minimal complaint, so he's a brave man.  other highlight: snorkeling, and swimming in the ocean, and lying on the beach doing nothing, and looking at our awesome view.  third highlight: sometimes they had chocolate at breakfast.) and helped my parents move (to the beach!  my parents are going to live at the beach!  in a brand-new, very pretty house.) and attempted (unsuccessfully) to run a half-marathon in the snow (turns out snow is fluffy, like sand but way colder).

So, now that that sad attempt to catch up on things is over, I'm going to talk about what I actually want to talk about, which is Valentine's Day.  I like Valentine's Day.  I mean, I like most holidays.  I like Halloween, although I'm too old to celebrate it by going trick-or-treating and too sane to celebrate it by drinking myself half to death.  I like Thanksgiving even though I don't like turkey.  I love Christmas even though I don't, technically, celebrate it, and every year I find more ways for a nice Jewish girl to enjoy the yuletide season.  I'm middling fond of all the little holidays; nothing against them, but when you're not a kid and don't have kids of their own, half the time there doesn't seem to be anything to do.  That doesn't stop me from trying, though, by watching the fireworks on July 4th even though they make me sad, and wearing green on St. Patrick's Day, and I've been known to throw the occasional Midsummer's Eve party.

So it's not exactly out of character for me to like Valentine's Day.  Actually, as holidays go, it seems like a pretty good one.  It's at a good time - there are no other holidays near it to distract, and February tends to be kind of a yucky month otherwise - and it's not religious and its major features are love and chocolate and pretty window displays.  What's not to like?

I know, I know.  Most people don't like the love bit.  I don't really get this.  If I'm not in a relationship and unhappy about that, well, it's not like I would have forgotten this fact if it weren't for a few paper hearts; if anything, hearing about other people's romantic moments makes me hopeful that something similar is in my future.  If I am in a relationship, there is of course the danger the holiday will go poorly, but that hasn't happened to me in a very long time, with perfectly good reason - since it occurs on the same day every year for every person, since it's not religious, since there are easy and obvious gifts, at least for men to give women, at all price points, it's an easy holiday to get right.  So, really, it seems like a no-brainer - an excuse to go out for a nice meal and exchange tokens if I'm in a relationship, an excuse to buy chocolate and watch sappy movies if I'm not, and a win either way.

Apparently I was wrong.  My gentleman caller, in response to my (extremely gentle and not consisting of loading the webpage and pointing out appropriate items) hints, gave me a lovely heart-shaped box of chocolates as part of our celebration (I gave him a video game.  It was actually a romantic video game, in that it has a two-player mode.  He seemed to like it.).  I happened to still have it with me when I met up with some girlfriends later on.  I thought this would be fine.

Apparently not.  Why, you may ask?  Did they lecture me about the wastefulness of its packaging?  The indulgence of purchasing such decadent, unhealthful food while people are starving?  The evilness of sugar?

No.  Their objections were, basically, that they hate Valentine's Day.  It completely boggles my mind that they would feel this way since they are, actually, my friends, so I feel compelled to rebut their objections one by one.

1) One friend hates Valentine's Day because you should celebrate your love every day (yes, really).  I mean, yes, consistent affection is important and it's always wonderful to give and receive unexpected gestures or gifts.  But many people have a hard time being spontaneously romantic, or don't know whether it's appropriate or would be welcome, or simply forget and take their partner for granted, so it's helpful to have a day earmarked to be more than usually aware.

2) Another friend hates Valentine's Day (or maybe is just indifferent to it) because we shouldn't only appreciate our romantic partners, we should appreciate our friends and everyone we love.  Which is true, we should.  But then isn't that just extra reason to like Valentine's Day, because now it's a much bigger celebration?  Or a reason to declare a whole extra holiday just for friendship or family?

3) A third friend hates Valentine's Day because it's too commercial.  Which would be a completely sensible argument if it were made by a cloistered nun, or a new-age hippie who lived on a commune and grew his own food.  But made by a person who lives in the world it seems a bit odd.  I mean, life is commercial.  You work for money so that you can buy the things you need.  If you have extra money, you buy things you want, or things for other people.  Valentine's Day is not, by its nature, a super-expensive holiday - you can have a candlelit dinner of boxed macaroni and cheese at your home for very little money, cards can be bought for cheap or made for free, and expressions of romantic sentiment have no monetary value.  Lots of people do spend money on their significant others, but so what?  By this logic, Saturday night is too commercial because most people in New York spend a ton of money going out drinking.

4) The fourth friend hates Valentine's Day because it's stupid (her words).  And she's right, it is kind of stupid.  Frilly red and pink decorations, chocolate in funny-shaped boxes, flowers that will be dead in two days - it's silly.  But so what?  Lots of things that people do are stupid.  If we only did things that were totally efficient and productive and sense-making, we'd be boring, and worse, we'd be bored.

My counterarguments didn't carry any weight in this gathering.  They ranted a bit, I put my chocolate away, and we talked about something else.  But it saddens me that there are people (who aren't bitter teenagers) who feel this way about such a delightful occasion.  It's difficult enough that so many people senselessly dislike Christmas; for Valentine's Day, there's so much less baggage and therefore less excuse.  So what if it's superfluous or superficial or stupid?  Aren't some of the very best things in life?