Query for queries

I know some people who know about Paris.  Some family friends met in Paris; he is from there and she lived there for years.  Of the friends and acquaintances to whom I've mentioned my trip, a significant minority - maybe 15% - have been to Paris either recently or for a substantial period of time, and many have volunteered the wisdom of their experience.

But what do I need to know?  Tourist information is most efficiently gleaned from a guidebook.  Random travel pointers are nice but it is hard to ask for them; people either think of things to tell you or they don't.  I'm not interested in restaurant recommendations - a very common Paris query, I think - because given my tastes and budget, as well as the fact that I'll have a kitchen, I am likely to eat most of my meals in small cafes or at home.  One person did tell me about her very favorite crepe vendor, which was pretty cool, and I asked another friend for a recommendation of anglophilic yoga classes, and of course I'm happy to hear about off-the-beaten-path museums, bookstores, and coffee shops.  But what other information should I be asking for?

This question is actually a question of what I want my trip to be.  For example, if I wanted my trip to be an exploration of the art and architecture of Paris, then I would ask about any museums I may not have heard of, particularly good tour companies, and the best books for describing and explaining the relevant sights, where to find them, and how to appreciate them.  This is all well and good to ask, but it is also information that is probably most easily and reliably collected from bookstores and the internet.  If I want my trip to be all about writing, then I should ask for information on English-language bookstores and reading series and if anyone knows of English-language writing groups or workshops.  This is information that is harder to collect from the internet (I've tried), and also harder to collect from people, since nearly everyone who goes to Paris has some interest in seeing the art and architecture, while a smaller set go there to write.

The information I really want is information I do not know how to ask for, by definition.  If I know that I want to know something, I can probably learn it just as easily - and perhaps more completely or reliably - from the internet.  Sure, people I know can tell me about their favorite crepe vendors - but I can also do a google search of "best crepes paris" and get a great deal of expert and non-expert advice.  Similarly I can learn about museums, tour companies, bookstores, neighborhoods - anything I know that I want to know - very easily, at any time of the day or night, and I can store all that information in my bookmarks for future reference.  But what if I didn't know that I liked crepes, or even that crepes existed?

And I'm not going on this trip just to eat crepes, or just to go to the Louvre, or just to walk the banks of the Seine, or just to do any of the things I'm currently thinking of doing.  I'm going on this trip to become the person that a trip to Paris would help me become.  To broaden myself, I guess.  To see and do and learn things that I wouldn't think to see or do or learn if I were in New York.

So - what are the questions I should be asking that will help me with that?  What are the sides of a trip to Paris that I'm not thinking of, that maybe I should be?